Holly Hoffman is having a round-up table on mentors at her blog Work Love Life. This is my entry on the topic.
The Rule of Diversification
Mentors are not gods.
They don’t know everything, nor they need to for the mentorship to work.
A mentor is not supposed to guide you in every aspect of your life, just on the one or two he excels at. You diversify to get the best out ones there.
Diversifying also means that if you outgrow a mentor, you still have the others that will serve as a reality check. You only outgrew one, you don’t know everything.
The Rule of Weakness
You are not weak at everything. Chances are you are strong enough at most things to do them by yourself. Being mentor-addicted is even worse than being mentor-less.
Don’t expect one mentor to fulfill every need either, that’s a quick way to ruin the relationship.
Remember the rule of Diversification and focus only on looking for guidance on your weaknesses.
The Rule of Chemistry
Your mentor does not need to be famous, rich or powerful. A good mentorship it’s about what you find valuable, not the world.
A mentor must have time for you, understand you, and see you as a promise, not a burden. What good are mentors if they can’t share their wisdom?
Don’t look for mentors trying to impress society. Let chemistry choose for you, you can impress the world later.
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This post is dedicated to Holly Hoffman, Monica O’Brien, Clay Hebert, Jun Loayza, Andrew Norcross, Ben Casnocha and Colin Wright. Friends and mentors that challenge me to be the best I can be. You play a big part of my growing process, and for that I’m grateful.
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Some fantastic points and observations here Carlos
Not sure I agree with only seeking out a mentor to help with a weakness though. While that might get some good results it depends on how you want to apply that weakness, or if it’s relevant at all. Often, applying your strengths in a new way is more than enough to outweigh any weakness, so I think a mentors value is often in showing you different ways to develop and apply your strengths.
You make a good point. Maybe it’s a personal thing, but I like to focus and explore my strengths on my own. I think you learn more that way, and a mentor may even know less than you do. Also, it’s hard to find a good mentor when you are really good at something.
I <3 you
Ahh bromance… gotta love it!
“Being mentor-addicted is even worse than being mentor-less.”
I like that – there is a thin line between being guided and total reliance. The ability to trust yourself is key is a mentorship because you don’t want to be a copy of your mentor but rather someone who embodies the bits that fit best but still remains true to oneself..
Especially if she’s a woman. Don’t want to go into gender transformation…
What? That’s the best part!
Very well said Carlos. I see a lot of time people mistake mentors for free consultants. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for every second I get to spend getting advice from my mentors. I owe so much to my mentors and will never forget everything they’ve done for me.
I think the point about not becoming too reliant on mentors is a big one too. Especially today when we have access to so many more people, and can develop a great deal of mentorships, it can be easy to become reliant on that support system. It’s okay, and great to turn to mentors for help, but don’t be afraid to blaze a few trails yourself.
I was waiting to hear your opinion, and you came through. Thanks man.