How long can you go without talking about yourself?
Probably not so much nowadays, since social media tools are making it hard.
People say there is no “right” way of using social media. That’s only true if you have no goal at all, which I guess is not the case with most people.
There’s a reason why you shouldn’t talk about you: anyone can do it well. We’re all experts at sharing our stories.
No matter how well you write, it’s easy. There’s no Dip.
Even if you can make it relatable to the reader, why not leave out the “you” part and just make it about the reader? This is a true challenge for most people.
Write without I’s, Me’s and Myself’s. It’s a good practice with a huge payoff.
It’s a simple equation: when you’re not talking about you, you’re talking about them. And they like that.
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Nice post, Carlos! I can definitely see where you’re coming from, but I have to respectfully disagree, maybe because I adhere to the “relate your own experience” practice.
Personally, the pleasure with blog-writing is in the story, in the connecting. I want to hear what others are going through because it’s that whole “stories of people’s lives” concept that I love so much. Were it to be business writing, tech writing, communications, or even essays I would say absolutely follow this guide and never, ever talk about yourself as the writer.
But when it comes to blogging and social media, I wonder if maybe it should be about you — at least originally. I know how that sounds, but I think the concept is a valid one. It’s the way in which people can connect, on a deeper, more personal level.
Think about the groups of twenty-something, mommy-bloggers, even writers…Any group you can think of has come together and connected based on interests and personal experiences. Suddenly, each person can realize that they’re not alone, that there is someone going through the exact same experience. It opens up dialogue and conversation, it forms friendships and support channels. It becomes about the reader. Can it be done without it being all about “you”? Possibly. I think, like anything, community is a two-way street. You share your story, they share theirs.
And I think I totally just failed your exercise. Sorry.
A really great post, Carlos, that brings up some ideas and arguments I hadn’t thought about before. Interested in hearing your take…
Hi Susan,
Let me respectfully disagree on you disagreeing with me. I don’t think you actually think differently. Because, like I said, it’s all about the goals. The people you mention have goals that requires them to talk about themselves. But people with different goals, who do that as well, would make a much bigger impact if they didn’t.
It’s not about not doing it at all. It’s about knowing what you’re doing.
I think I see what you’re getting at — the groups of twenty-somethings and mommy-bloggers blog with the goal of sharing experiences and so relating and using first-person and stories are an extension of that? But then there are others (maybe those who offer advice, reviews, etc) who would have a better impact from not adding themselves into their posts? Kind of like, focus on the product you’re offering and not the writer?
I see your point but I’m on the fence about this.
Here’s a counterargument that I read awhile ago:
http://selfmadechick.com/2008/01/06/the-one-word-that-help-my-blog-grow-to-800-subscribers-in-17-weeks/
I see what you’re saying, but then I could show this post from Brian Clark who backs up what I’m saying:
http://www.copyblogger.com/the-two-most-important-words-in-blogging/
Again, it’s all about the goals.
Hmm, I remember reading that one too. Quite a balance – to actually make your message relevant to your readers while demonstrating your own authority.
I’m with Susan – when I’m talking (or blogging) about a specific topic, especially as it relates to an emotional experience, I’m careful *only* to talk about my experience with it. I cannot speak to everyone’s experience, and one “you feel X when Y happens” may not be true for a reader, thus negating the entire post/point. Besides, I’m not sure the reader appreciates me projecting my experience onto theirs. It takes away from the uniqueness of the experience.
And while not every single experience is unique, not every single experience is the same.
Like Susan, I have to respectfully disagree. Most of what I write on my blog is about me, experiences that I’ve had, things I’ve dealt with, and the reason I’m willing to talk about myself and share is because I feel that I can relate it to others and hopefully help them. I also feel that talking about your own experience gives you some credibility. For example, I’d been writing a lot about appreciation and never really explained why I was so into it. So, I decided to write a very personal post about my friend who passed away last summer because honoring his memory is what motivates me to appreciate. I wanted people to know that I wasn’t just spouting BS about appreciation for no reason. So, while I see your point, I think that when it’s done right, writing about yourself is okay.
@Holly
@Sam
Like I told Susan, I don’t think we disagree actually. It depends on the goals. The examples that Susan gives are great, since they represent different objectives in social media.
Despite the fact that blogging and social media make things very personal and lots of times designed to showcase yourself, I think the key here is adding value for the reader. What does the reader get from reading what you wrote? Does your post scream: “Look at how great I am!” or “Waah! Please feel sorry for me!”
Maybe it’ll take a few “I’s” “Me’s” and “Myself’s” to convey your point, but if you’re creating content bigger than yourself, content that provides meaning, understanding and value for your reader, I say do what you gotta do with personal pronouns.
It all boils down to intent.
I’d love to hear some more male opinions. Women often relate to one another by sharing experiences and feeling a connection through that I’m-not-alone! story.
Could this be a male/female perspective difference?
I think Meghan sums it up nicely – WHO are you thinking about when you write it? Your readers or your self?
I don’t think it’s a sex thing, and I agree with Meghan too.
But here’s the problem:
People that think about themselves, obviously talk about themselves.
But what about the people that think about the readers and talk about themselves? Why do we assume that people who try to provide value can do it well? I don’t think it’s just about the focus, it’s about the practice as well.