Education

Our view of education is outdated to justify failure. I would agree that a poor education on the home and a mediocre culture might be real reasons behind failure, but not education academically speaking (frequently the most mentioned). Lack of traditional credentials nowadays means nothing since it’s by critical and outside-of-the-box thinking that exceptional people do exceptional things. Educational institutions perpetuate a mentality and a dependence that are not suitable for today’s success. In fact, I’d say that most people who consciously skip higher education, and can present rational and valuable reasons to do it, are more suited to reach their goals than those that do it because it’s “the next step.”

Laziness

Laziness exists, without a doubt. The problem is that it’s very hard for lazy people to change it because they look for it in the wrong place. Contrary to the popular opinion, I don’t believe laziness is a part of someone’s personality, but an effect context has over our mind. Work near your bed, and you’ll get less done than if you go to a library or an isolated table on a coffee shop. Most people can stop being lazy but they don’t know how and are too lazy to find out.

Laziness is a reason behind failure, but it’s one of the easiest ones to overcome.

One more thought on laziness: it’s human and in some cases desirable. Here’s Magnus Carlsen, 19 year old and the best chess player in the world:

Organisation is not my thing; I am chaotic and tend to be lazy. My trainer recognised that and as a rule allowed me to practise whatever I felt like at the time. It’s like this: When I am feeling good, I train a lot. When I feel bad, I don’t bother. I don’t enjoy working to a timetable.

Economy

We could think of economy as rules of a market, in which case I believe it can be an obstacle too big to overcome. Economy is just too powerful for one individual to beat.

We can also define it as the ups and downs of a market, in which case it ends up working better as a justification for laziness or conformity than a real problem.

Capacity

One of the most controversial, since the world is fixated on telling everyone that they are awesome, but the good thing about it is that lack of capacity only prevents success in very few areas.

If you want to be a soccer player, there’s no way around it: you have to be really good. But in most cases, like in the corporate world, quoting lack of capacity as a reason for failure is all about political correctness. We all know examples of people who got promoted because they were friends with the boss, or because they worked there for many years.

We could mention blogging as well. Does popularity mean value? Quite the contrary.

It’s important to remind yourself that you may fail for being too good. This is the best reason to fail.

Society

Another contextual reason, and a truly tough one to overcome. Discrimination, for example. How many women or black people have failed because “it wasn’t their time”? It’s true that this is changing more and more as time passes, but it still exists.

My only advice for those that are suffering it is to fight. There has never been better chances of winning against societal disadvantages than now, but it would be ignorant of me not to mention it as a reason for failure.

Luck

Ah, my personal favorite. Almost of all of the previously mentioned reasons can be grouped into luck. Some time ago Duff McDuffee tweeted a series of thoughts about luck and success, which I found refreshing to read in the middle of this Disney world of over-positivity and demagogic messages of ambition:

The secret to success is luck. Sure success requires hard work, good strategies, etc., but the missing ingredient is usually luck. So if you’re not successful after doing everything right, consider that maybe you’re just unlucky. Similarly, if you are successful and someone asks you your secret, you should say “I was lucky.” Most everything else is confirmation bias.

Another time-tested success secret is to compete unfairly by pretending to be a peer with those below your weight class, Tim Ferris style. Since your success amongst your peers is largely dependent on luck, we often stack the odds in our favor by competing against non-peers. All competitive advantages are an attempt to trick your competitors, and only work as long as nobody else knows the trick. We define certain competitive advantages as fair and others as unfair, but somewhat arbitrarily, for any real advantage is unfair. We often distinguish between games of chance and games of skill, but luck frames which skills we can develop and to what extent.

Not only I agree, I also believe that quoting hard work as the reason for success is insulting and a close-minded judgment. If all you can do is kick a rock, it doesn’t matter how hard you kick it, you won’t get anywhere in the our competitive jungle.

One of the most important oversights of our society is the reality that we are not all REALLY peers. The peer status comes from the conditions, and not everyone has the same conditions.

PS: If you still have enough bubbles and butterflies in your head to believe in meritocracy, you can watch Alain De Botton’s talk on TED for a deeper understanding of why meritocracy is a beautiful but impossible concept.

A recent study shows that we trust our friends recommendations less and less lately:

In some cases, social networks themselves may be contributing to the decline in trust. Platforms such as Facebook and Twitter have allowed people to maintain larger circles of casual associates, which may be diluting the credibility of peer-to-peer networks. In short, the more acquaintances a person has, the harder it can be to trust him or her.

People in the comments are looking for the reason behind this, that the article doesn’t give.

Don’t worry, I’m here to help.

Remember, you heard it from the Owl first.

They are the pinnacle of easy entitlement.

Another example of the celebration of averageness that democracy and consumerism have created.

One more way to weaken our tolerance of failure and to stop bettering ourselves.

Believing that potential, hard work and ambition are given by the decade you were born, is the same as believing that potential, hard work and ambition are given by your constellation.

Let’s keep making everyone think they are great.

After all, the next generations will have to pay for our “greatness.”

Image by http://www.wordle.net/

We live in imprecise times.

Our desires and fears are tainted with subjectivity. There’s no right or wrong, no black or white, no real or imaginary.

When equality and freedom were reached, we opened the door to countless definitions of reality. This is not to say that we are totally free and equal, but no one can argue that we aren’t living in the most liberal moment of history (especially in the western world). Even if this freedom of speech and decision making is still incomplete, it has already changed the world enough for us to analyze the consequences.

One of the most interesting and harmful effects of this “talk first, agree later” society is the multiple, consistent and “soft” redefinition of the language. In a world where everyone owns the words, because everyone is allowed to speak their mind as they see fit, there is no longer unity in language. Sure, we all pronounce the same words, but they all mean something different to each of us.

In the past, it wasn’t just language that was ruled by a select group of people, but everyone’s fates too. Of course, the world has seen constant improvement in various aspects with many of its societal changes, but not without some negative repercussions. Nowadays, we are not only choosing what we want to do with our time but we are also free to explain why and how we are going to do it. We own not only our fate, but its definition as well.

The main problem that I see with this new mindset is that the appeal spreads. Please see that I’m using the world “appeal.” This is because what may sound good isn’t necessarily good. Maybe because of an inherent drive to “help others”, maybe because it’s a business strategy or maybe because we just want to feel good about ourselves, but we are all telling others what to do and how to do it with our own specific language. And those articulated visions spread because they are solid promises of a better future. The power of the articulate language is unmeasurable. (Side note: This is why I believe that journalism has been the most hurtful industry to the globalized intellectuality of the masses).

I hate the words in the picture. Not because I don’t want to be “happy”, whatever that means, but because of their inherent imprecision. They have become so relevant in our lives, that we shape our lifestyle and make our most important decisions going after them or avoiding them. When we pursue these, we pursue subjectivity, and when subjectivity is a goal, the ways to get there are infinite. The problem is clear: only one path will work for you, so your odds of going through the right one are minimum.

With the freedom to express ourselves constantly increasing due to changes in education and technology (to name a few), this tendency of language elasticity is only going to get stronger. I believe that the only solution is to take the time needed to define those words and goals by yourself, which is not an easy task at all. We need to stop underestimating the specific comprehension of the terminology. Any other path will be the wrong path. The word can be subjective, but the feeling of making a life-changing mistake after accepting someone else’s definitions can be very real.

In the end, the most damaging consequence of language imprecision is a world with confident but lost individuals.

The result is a proud and unsettled society.

Not a good combination.

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Related articles from OwlSparks about language imprecision:

My definition of wisdom. Here is Alain de Botton’s pushing us to have our own definition of success. Here is “The Common Achievement Effect.” Here is the problem with glamorized words like “Entrepreneurship.” My theory on the biggest contradiction young people are living nowadays. My thoughts on the challenge of achieving “success” for non-profits. My criticism of our “news equal success” mentality. Yet another post on success and failure.

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards.” – Steve Jobs

Here’s the best reason to do whatever you feel you have to do in today‘s world, without worrying about the consequences: today’s dots are infinite.

Fifty years ago, one of the strongest arguments to keep people on the safe path was predictability. It wasn’t that hard to foresee how many possibilities a person would have depending on what they studied, where they lived and which people they knew. This happened because the variables that influenced someone’s future (let’s call them “dots”) were very few. Money, heritage, and geography mattered. You could still challenge traditional paths, but the tools and reach were limited. Changing the world fifty years ago was harder than it is today, simple as that.

If you looked back and tried to connect the dots back then, the unpredictable ones were fewer. A linear path was easy to walk.

Now, the world is flat, globalization is happening and the internet is shortening the distance between each other. When the world truly is your oyster, every aspect of your life will get affected (and probably improved) if you decide to step out of your traditional boundaries. Thanks to today’s connectivity and the increasingly popular “world citizenship” mentality, the magnetism of people’s desires can bring them together fast and easy.

The process of dot connecting does not have to be hard, but it has to be consistent. With every little challenging step that you take now, you are opening the door to countless new opportunities. There are enough dots for everyone to reach an interesting life, but you have to keep opening doors.

You need to be strong, independent, and aware that you can’t know how things will work out. If you can see the outcome clearly, rest assured that you’re going after a boring and mediocre lifestyle. If you are trying to “make sense”, then you are going after other people’s definition of “sense.”

Lives full of exciting dots don’t make sense.

Sparked by Colin Wright

If there’s something particular about the things we like to talk about in modern society it’s our fascination with change. We love to see what’s wrong with the world, with others and with ourselves. Hey, I’m guilty as the next guy. Is this always mentally helpful? No. The whole purpose of books like StrengthFinder is to reinforce what works, not to seek constant change.

Some reasons for this mindset:

We like to feel smart

Being the one who proposes change is a sign of intellectual status nowadays. We put people who “change the world” on a pedestal, without considering if that change is always for the better. Just because they took the step that others were too coward to take, does not mean that step had to be taken in the first place.

We like to be on the right side

Everyone believes they are right. There’s not a single person in the world who says, “This is what I believe we should do, but I’m clearly wrong.” We agree or criticize something in order to choose sides. We need sides because we’ve been put into teams ever since communities existed.

We believe in universality

Propositions for change are always universal. They don’t consider alternate visions because they emerge from a particular group of people that isn’t big enough to represent differing world visions. Change is absolute, is arrogant. Most ideas of change only consider one world view- the one coming from the changer.

It sells

Change has more selling potential than status-quo or regression. The idea business, mostly reflected in books, is all about change. What’s coming, what should stop, what you have to do, what you are missing out. When we read them, we get the feeling of having acquired an advantage, a new skill. The only way to use this hypothetical advantage is to change something.

Change sells because it feeds of our egos and desire to beat others. This does not mean change should occur.

We don’t believe in perfection

Humanity does not believe in perfection. By opposition it must believe in change, in improvement.The main problem that I see with this mentality is that we are choosing constant dissatisfaction. There’s always going to be something wrong with us or our choices. There’s no settling. We are sacrificing the peace of traditions for the turbulence of “improvement.” Nothing is sacred anymore if someone can see a reason to change it.

Good luck finding peace with all this progress…

The part that still doesn’t work, that’s not as good as the previous situation. Yet.

They do that, because if they have any chance of stopping you, they have to cut you off at that moment.

Adjusting means usually ending up in a better situation. Maybe you are changing job, girlfriend, or moving to a different country. Whatever it is you are doing, it’s because you consider it the right move.

Cowards see it too, and therefore they acknowledge the little window opportunity that they have to make you stay as one of them. They need the company.

You have two choices: either don’t show them the adjusting part, or realize that most criticism comes at the point where they can still be skeptical.

Adjust accordingly to ignore them.

I’ve talked about arrogance being somewhat positive before, but there’s one important reason why it can get you far:

Arrogant people don’t take advice.

It’s not that they don’t want to learn or grow.

It’s not that they don’t practice or work hard.

It’s not that they think they know everything.

They just trust themselves more than others. And I think that’s great.

Reasons why this is a good decision:

- When people give advice they may understand your actions, but your feelings and thoughts will never be as clear to them as they are to you.

Arrogant people know that they can be wrong. But so can others. They will consider what you’re saying, but they won’t give it more credit just because “we should listen to others.” They will give it credit if it’s really something new to them.

I’ve found that my mother for example, the person who knows me more than anyone in the world, has seen this knowledge decrease with the years. My true passions, values, interests and ideas of the world are becoming less and less understood and predictable by people around me. So, should we really follow others’ advice?

- People’s advice is affected by some very human limitations. To name a few:

• Familiarity. People consider “good” what’s familiar to them, what they are used to doing. Consider this when listening to advice.
• Interests. If we can learn something from Freakonomics, it is that people act differently depending on what they can get from it.
• Ignorance. Sometimes people just don’t know enough. But this hasn’t stopped them before.
• Fear. Sometimes people don’t want to see you happy. It can remind them how unhappy they are.

Here’s the thing: Arrogant people listen. They really do. But they understand that advice is overrated, because the information available to outsiders is insufficient and twisted. They see how wrong others can be.

Arrogance is about responsibility.

About being the cause of your victories and failures.

About feeling satisfied with your decisions and stop pointing fingers when something goes wrong.

Arrogant people, can always be held accountable.

Final Note: Language is incompetent. Don’t like the word arrogant? Suggest another one, invent one if you want. But let’s refrain ourselves from debating “definitions” and just get the underlying message.

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Let me get personal and share with you my excitement:

Holly was the first person I reached out a year ago in the online world. She was helpful and most of all, she cared. The idea of starting an english blog? Yeah, hers.

I enjoy his sincere writing and admire her as a person. I truly suggest you to connect with her.

Do read my guest post “Recipe For Conformity”

- The stubborn ones. They doubt what is happening right now (e.g: the power of social media). Status quo lovers basically.

- The ones ahead of the curve. They doubt what people say is going to keep happening. They abandon ship before the bubble bursts.

Thoughts on these skeptics:

1) We pay more attention to the stubborn ones. This happens because change is already here and some people are living proof. It’s very easy to spark a discussion.

2) The stubborn ones are always a huge force. This is why change always comes as a surprise for most people.

3) Experts are overrated skeptics.

4) The reason why people don’t listen to the ones ahead of the curve is because they have no proofs (this is particularly hard when we are talking about the future, don’t you think?). We should always leave room for those that question continuity. Forget about proofs, think ahead.

5) When the ones ahead of the curve are right, they win big time.

Bottom Line: Always be skeptical about the future, things are always in motion. Don’t let change catch you off guard.