In the imaginary small town of Jante there is an informal, oppressive law that forbids anyone from standing out from the crowd:

The Law of Jante

1. Thou shalt not believe thou art something.
2. Thou shalt not believe thou art as good as we.
3. Thou shalt not believe thou art more wise than we.
4. Thou shalt not fancy thyself better than we.
5. Thou shalt not believe thou knowest more than we.
6. Thou shalt not believe thou art greater than we.
7. Thou shalt not believe thou amountest to anything.
8. Thou shalt not laugh at us.
9. Thou shalt not believe that anyone is concerned with thee.
10. Thou shalt not believe thou canst teach us anything.

We are now living in Jante.

Better has died.

There are many reasons behind this, such as the need for empowered individuals that can consume stuff and an exaggerated fascination with democracy, to name a few. However, I want to focus on the fear of violence.

The horror of wars and recent dictatorships have made us afraid of the consequences that fighting for an idea may have. We worry that trying to impose objectivity will inevitably lead to some sort of authoritarianism and physical retaliation. Past (and still fresh) violence has left a bad reputation in people’s ability to handle disagreements. We prefer to say “to each its own” because we believe that a new Hitler can be just around the corner.

Terrorists prove everyday that this possibility is very real. Their blind and retarded belief in a “better scenario” lets them justify any atrocity to humanity. And this is why we need to learn from the past, not ignore it. We need to embrace the intensity of a war and apply it exclusively in an intellectual setting. It’s the year 2010, we have to be able to separate our ideas from our bodies.

Everyone should live with their needs covered in a peaceful society that respects every individual, I’m all for equality in every aspect of life. We can’t let any kind of moral debate overrun human rights.

But when it comes to debating, let’s beat the shit out of each other. We can’t keep putting our emotional fragility before intellectual objectivity either. Let’s stop respecting each others’ feelings so much.

Like Philip Pullman says, no one has the right not to be offended (h/t to Tyler for sharing):

In a world where feelings are a priority, quality of life, ideas and morals drop.

In a world where feelings are a priority, conflict and improvement become taboo.

In a world where feelings are a priority, mediocrity rules.

Here’s to a world that values rationality, logic, quality and growth before fear, feelings and ignorance.

Here’s to the end of Jante.

This priceless collectible will permit you to be surrounded by hobby-less assholes whose entire life is dictated by billing by the hour and being anal dickheads. Additionally, this piece of paper has the amazing ability to keep you from doing what you really want to do in life, all in the name of purported prestige and financial success. Finally, girls in the Marina will swoon with retarded thoughts of sugar daddy when they hear you went to XXX prestigious law school and are a lawyer.

It’s a tragedy when remarkable people realize they are remarkable too late.

This case proves the sad reality that has struck me recently:

Context trumps individuality.

The reason an out-of-the-box thinker and ambitious person may follow a traditional and less fulfilling path is because either a) the societal pressure is too strong to avoid, or b) the context lacks the tools, means and support to exploit that capacity.

The reason I relate to this lawyer, is that we both realized too late that with a different context and more support for our ambitions, we would have gotten further. I will always wonder where I would be if I would have been born in the US, or at least, in another first world country that had similar intellectual opportunities.

For example, when I think of Colin Wright or Ben Casnocha, friends that have achieved much more than I did so far, I feel that I lost the race. Not the race with them (although I am competitive), but the race with myself had I had their context.

The obvious response is that things couldn’t have happened in any other way and that I wouldn’t have realized this if I hadn’t been through what I did. While true, the possibilities that escaped me since day one (and still do) are too many to be ignored in a flat world.

Another harsh realization of late awareness is the need to lower my expectations. While others were taking advantage of the entrepreneurial culture and taking unconventional paths, I spent most of my life realizing that there was such a thing as an entrepreneurial culture and an unconventional path.

While others were doing, I was catching up. I’m way behind on the path that society considers successful.

And there are real barriers, such as language, visa requirements and currency exchange, to name a few. While not impossible to overcome, they are permanent weights that slow down anyone that has to deal with them.

The hardest truth is this: The world doesn’t give a crap about what I’ve done so far. The world wants start-ups, Fortune 500 corporate experience and world traveling knowledge. It doesn’t care about self-realizations and unconventional personal philosophies, however hard it was to reach them.

This is not a regret. It’s coming to terms with reality. It’s what every ambitious person who lacks a supportive context has to understand:

My definition of success has to be unique and personal, because it will never match the world’s.

1) This one is obvious: The bad white military man that attacks poorer civilizations to steal their resources. Clear criticism towards corporatism and the American government, no further explanation needed.

2) This one is more subtle since it involves the spectator: We are embarrassed by what we have done to our planet. That’s why we, human viewers, end up wanting that they, human invaders, lose the battle. We want to learn the lesson.

Avatar makes a strong case on our primitive need to go back to a natural lifestyle. The spectator realizes that we are quickly moving towards technological progress and that living in nature is going to be impossible for most of us by now.

Our animal inside knows that societal satisfaction is less fulfilling than natural satisfaction.

Our animal inside wants us to cut ties and respect our home once again.

Our animal inside feels guilty.

I wanted to share that rant with the readers of OwlSparks:

From day one I knew what would work online. I knew what I had to do to become popular, succeed, have a community and all that stuff. And for a while, I did it.

Truth be told? I hated every second of it.

Believe me, if I were to keep doing it, I would sky-rocket because it’s more scientific that we are prepared to believe. It’s not about my content, it’s about what other people want to hear. Human psychology and the written word are two very powerful tools, and if you know how to use them, manipulation is a piece of cake.

But I don’t want to do that, because that’s how you perpetuate mediocrity, and the world has enough of that already. I want a smart world, not a world full of micro religions.

I’d rather fail than to lose my integrity. I don’t want to be the Letterman, the Leno of blogging, I want to be the Adam Carolla of blogging, burning bridges all the time for sticking to what you believe in. But those few bridges that stick? Oh, baby, those are made of steel and diamond, you can’t burn those, they will be there forever.

There’s nothing wrong with maintaining a weak tie, I have many in my life, but I’m not manipulating people, telling everyone we are friends, that we are community, that there’s love for everyone. You tell me I need to have drones? That I need to have as many weak ties as possible to succeed? Then I ask you: what comes with that? Instead of thinking so hard and showing us how much they will help YOU, what about them? What happens to them? Where do they go once you cash the check? Who guides them once you win?

Thank you, but no. I’d rather be the lamest blogger that keeps cracking his head open to come up with original posts every time, that keeps trying to make people wake up of all the shit that they are consuming labeled as “great posts” and great communities, instead of just “going with the drone thing” because it’s the utilitarian solution.

I’m a realistic person. Chances are all those people that keep making it about the numbers will grow their audience throughout the years and I’ll have to suffer for being able to see through their crap while I have to “settle” with my little community of real thinkers (which I DO tell them to leave me when they think it’s time). But I don’t care. To hell with the money. To hell with attention, popularity and ego-praising.

I don’t want to do what works. I want to do what’s right.

Note: I have talked before about the timeless power of marketing, and how the world is not the best version of itself and never will be as long as connections and people skills are the ones who decide who reaches the top, instead of capability, talent and dedication. You can read my post on the topic here.

I encourage you to read Colin’s full post, but for now I want to quote this paragraph:

I would hazard to say that the great dearth of capable people in positions of power is one of the most unnecessary and harmful realities of the modern world. A fortunate few are able to leverage their abilities into notoriety and really reach their full potential, but most will never be able to do so, instead scrounging for food to stay alive while working on a cure for cancer or writing the next great philosophical treatise.

So my challenge to you is simple: this year, do everything you can to help other people succeed. Push those you know with talent and provide what assistance you can. Continue to work on your own endeavors, of course, but really make an extra effort to give others a leg up as well.

What interests me about Colin’s proposition, is that this seems to be happening more and more lately. We are collaborating in a different way.

The Change

Until now, collaboration has been focused on transactions. A win-win situation. Both give to get something in return.

The problem with that mentality is that it’s limited. There’s so much I can give to many, and there’s so much many can give to me. So, when one of the two can’t win, collaboration doesn’t happen. We have been prioritizing the gain, instead of the bond.

This is finally changing.

The future of collaboration is ego-less. In a world where people are becoming more economic and conscious of their resources (time, energy, money), there’s so much we can ask of them, regardless of what we give in return. A fair trade is not necessarily a needed trade. The only real way to create meaningful bonds and projects is to do it without expecting anything in return.

The real test comes when you have the opportunity to help someone with the previous knowledge that that person won’t be able to reciprocate. Paradoxically, the only way to do this consistently is to forget about the economic way of thinking. If you only act evaluating the reward and resources spent, you won’t contribute to this change.

The Meaning

There are many signs of society’s desire to make a change of mindset. For example, the reason we call it networking now instead of “doing business” is because there’s something shady about doing business. With business comes money, interests, conflict. With networking, we are highlighting the people instead of their profit potential. When you do business, you focus on what you can gain. When you network, you focus on how you can help (there’s still a huge expectancy of reward, but thankfully I’m seeing more and more events where “having fun” and “making friends” are the main values, with “doing business” taking a second place).

The future of collaboration is not longer about equality of status, rather than equality of consideration. You help anyone just because you can, not because they are a big deal or because you want to be on their radar. It’s not longer a matter of team, it’s a matter of them.

Just to clarify, this isn’t charity either. Charity happens either because of compassion, guilt, or a belief in a bigger goal. The future of collaboration is not nearly as rational as charity. You don’t do “because.” You just do. The emotional reward (and pain) of charity is immense. The reward of collaboration 3.0 may come eventually, but you have no logical reason to expect it.

And let’s not forget about technology and globalization. Where will we stop once this mentality and attitude spreads, once people leave their win part of the equation behind, once the whole world wants AND is able to help others?

Forget about the win-win and profit seek in a globalized and technological world of collaboration 2.0.

Collaboration 3.0 is a give-win situation, a beautiful “step back.”

As you’ll see on the video, my English is not that good when I have to actually speak it.

I wanted to thank all the readers of this humble blog, every spark is a blast thanks to the amazing debate and criticism. Again, thank you.

Random goals for 2010:

1) Move to Perth, Australia in June. Contact me if you’re going to be there!

2) Build a location independent income to support every expense.

3) Keep smiling my way through life.

4) Maintain and strengthen my existing relationships online. I wouldn’t be where I am if it weren’t for them.

5) Be a great example of the “Untemplate” lifestyle. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Stay tuned, you’ll understand soon!

What a great year it has been. And what great year it will be.

Why? Because it’s always a matter of perspective.

You can’t lose with the right perspective.

Things rarely go exactly the way you want them to, so sometimes you make due with whatever you can get.

Endings are never easy; I always build them up so much in my head they can’t possibly live up to my expectations, and I just end up disappointed. I’m not even sure why it matters to me so much how things end here.

I guess it’s because we all want to believe that what we do is very important, that people hang onto our every word, that they care what we think. The truth is: you should consider yourself lucky if you even occasionally get to make someone, anyone, feel a little better. After that it’s all about the people that you let into your life…

…And even though it felt warm and safe, I knew it had to end. It’s never good to live in the past too long.

As for the future, it didn’t seem so scary anymore. It could be whatever I wanted it to be…

And who’s to say this isn’t what happens? Who can tell me that my fantasies won’t come true… just this once?

In reality, you never know what’s going to happen.

Let go.

Enjoy the ride.

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards.” – Steve Jobs

Here’s the best reason to do whatever you feel you have to do in today‘s world, without worrying about the consequences: today’s dots are infinite.

Fifty years ago, one of the strongest arguments to keep people on the safe path was predictability. It wasn’t that hard to foresee how many possibilities a person would have depending on what they studied, where they lived and which people they knew. This happened because the variables that influenced someone’s future (let’s call them “dots”) were very few. Money, heritage, and geography mattered. You could still challenge traditional paths, but the tools and reach were limited. Changing the world fifty years ago was harder than it is today, simple as that.

If you looked back and tried to connect the dots back then, the unpredictable ones were fewer. A linear path was easy to walk.

Now, the world is flat, globalization is happening and the internet is shortening the distance between each other. When the world truly is your oyster, every aspect of your life will get affected (and probably improved) if you decide to step out of your traditional boundaries. Thanks to today’s connectivity and the increasingly popular “world citizenship” mentality, the magnetism of people’s desires can bring them together fast and easy.

The process of dot connecting does not have to be hard, but it has to be consistent. With every little challenging step that you take now, you are opening the door to countless new opportunities. There are enough dots for everyone to reach an interesting life, but you have to keep opening doors.

You need to be strong, independent, and aware that you can’t know how things will work out. If you can see the outcome clearly, rest assured that you’re going after a boring and mediocre lifestyle. If you are trying to “make sense”, then you are going after other people’s definition of “sense.”

Lives full of exciting dots don’t make sense.

Sparked by Colin Wright

If there’s something particular about the things we like to talk about in modern society it’s our fascination with change. We love to see what’s wrong with the world, with others and with ourselves. Hey, I’m guilty as the next guy. Is this always mentally helpful? No. The whole purpose of books like StrengthFinder is to reinforce what works, not to seek constant change.

Some reasons for this mindset:

We like to feel smart

Being the one who proposes change is a sign of intellectual status nowadays. We put people who “change the world” on a pedestal, without considering if that change is always for the better. Just because they took the step that others were too coward to take, does not mean that step had to be taken in the first place.

We like to be on the right side

Everyone believes they are right. There’s not a single person in the world who says, “This is what I believe we should do, but I’m clearly wrong.” We agree or criticize something in order to choose sides. We need sides because we’ve been put into teams ever since communities existed.

We believe in universality

Propositions for change are always universal. They don’t consider alternate visions because they emerge from a particular group of people that isn’t big enough to represent differing world visions. Change is absolute, is arrogant. Most ideas of change only consider one world view- the one coming from the changer.

It sells

Change has more selling potential than status-quo or regression. The idea business, mostly reflected in books, is all about change. What’s coming, what should stop, what you have to do, what you are missing out. When we read them, we get the feeling of having acquired an advantage, a new skill. The only way to use this hypothetical advantage is to change something.

Change sells because it feeds of our egos and desire to beat others. This does not mean change should occur.

We don’t believe in perfection

Humanity does not believe in perfection. By opposition it must believe in change, in improvement.The main problem that I see with this mentality is that we are choosing constant dissatisfaction. There’s always going to be something wrong with us or our choices. There’s no settling. We are sacrificing the peace of traditions for the turbulence of “improvement.” Nothing is sacred anymore if someone can see a reason to change it.

Good luck finding peace with all this progress…

The concept of Happiness Hyperopia is very interesting:

Overestimating the benefits we think we will accrue at some mythical time in the future.

There are people who “suffer” from this condition. But there are also people who do not. I asked my friend Steve a long time ago: What is more likely to happen? Overvaluing or undervaluing the future?

Steve’s reply:

“My take is that it depends on who it is.  For example, someone who does a lot of hard-core drugs or gets a facial tattoo is obviously someone who is likely to undervalue the future.  On the other hand, the person who toils away in a miserable job just for the money that he theoretically will spend when he retires is someone who overvalues the future.”

While Steve may be right, those are extreme examples. They are not demonstrative samples of the rest of us.

My estimation is that most people do suffer from happiness hyperopia, whatever it is they do. You don’t have to be an executive that works 70 hours a week to overvalue your future. Happiness hyperopia is what feeds consumerism: the constant illusion of a better future. We become victims of this “condition” frequently, no matter how many times we have been disappointed before. We bought that device, we got that job, we dated that girl, only to end up looking for something else.

There are many reasons happiness hyperopia to be so prominent:

- Tradition would be one. The mentality that religion has impregnated in our culture for hundreds of years is all about happiness hyperopia. What’s religion if not a promise of a heavenly future as long as you pay your dues on Earth?

- The increase of our life span also has huge effects on our way to see the future. When people lived 40 years and the fear of war or many deathly illnesses was constantly present, there weren’t many motivators to wait, invest and play the “hope” game. Now, with many of those fears mostly eradicated, we can expect a wonderful future if we work hard enough. Not that this future will ever come, though.

- When one gets rational about this, one can’t avoid considering the “live now” mentality as the best choice. The problem is that “living now” is not that easy either, because dying now is hard. When you know that there’s nothing after you die (which more and more people are believing), there’s a lot at stake on living like a rock star. Basically, those that live the moment and undervalue their future aren’t ready to say their goodbyes before their undervalued future catches up with them, which usually does in today’s world. People get to live for many years regretting their past decisions.

In the end, happiness hyperopia is all we have. We can’t go any other way because we’ve been trained to overvalue our future.

Trying to be realistic and being ready to settle is the best choice. It will bring the most tolerant misery (or the most realistic happiness).