Consider sports. Players can’t play that much better than previous players. How do you keep it interesting? You talk more about it, before and after. You make them play more games. You show their highlights more times. You hold a one-hour special to announce a short decision.

Does this make you enjoy sports more? Of course not. In fact, the scarcity of past times may have been the reason you enjoyed them so much before.

The question then is, where does it end? I suspect that we will eventually witness the “Entertainment Tragedy of the Commons”:

“The tragedy of the commons describes a situation in which multiple individuals, acting independently, and solely and rationally consulting their own self-interest, will ultimately deplete a shared limited resource even when it is clear that it is not in anyone’s long-term interest for this to happen.”

That’s where we are now. We are all self-interested in being entertained, and our limited resource, enthusiasm, is depleting. The reason entertainment works less and less is because it’s becoming harder to seduce us. In other words, the marginal benefit of adding explosions and highlights is decreasing with every movie and every game.

One wonders then… what lies ahead? What happens to a society that’s addicted to new, fun, adventurous and edgy?

Permanent dissatisfaction.

We are now embarked in a quest for experiences instead of growth. I believe growth is the end that makes not only individuals satisfied but also entire communities. By limiting our enthusiasm and focusing on other things less interesting but more fulfilling, we may reach a point where entertainment actually plays its proper role:  to spice up life. Not to control it.

Some people might say that experiences make you grow, but I severely question that statement. True, some experiences will make you wiser. But traveling to get wasted in another country, or playing a new video game will not do that. Since when all fun brings wisdom? Fun is fun. It’s healthy and we need it, but it’s definitely not the way to become better, wiser or even funnier. Fun is quickly creating a generation of people that can’t find pleasure in anything for a continuous period of time. Heck, it’s creating a generation of people who can’t do anything for a continuous period of time.

Life is about choices, and with choosing comes settling. I’ve said it many times: you don’t have to settle, but you should know how to do it.

I dream of  a society that understands the importance of settling to reach high levels of satisfaction (or happiness, if that’s the word you like) like generations before mine did, but that also is brave enough to challenge stability, like generations before mine didn’t.

(Thanks to Peter Stromberg for sparking the thoughts for this post.)

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Here’s Peter’s post on the addiction culture of entertainment. Here’s Cal Newport on the construction of passion and the importance of hard focus. My posts on the limits that context imposes on us and the mistaken priority of happiness.

What do we get when entertainment is our main motivator?

Overpaid actors and players.

Weaker relationships.

The “evil” of conformity.

Lack of focus.

Personal Branding.

The level of complexity behind entertainment and its effect on people goes far beyond what one could write in a blog post. But just to make things interesting, I’ll add my theory to explain what lies ahead for our “fun” western society (mental gymnastics if you will) in the next post.

(By the way, if you are in Perth, or visit Western Australia often and want to hit me up, please do! You can reach me at carlos@owlsparks.com).

- Cultural challenge:

I know my country too much. I can walk down the busiest part of Buenos Aires while listening to music and reading a book (with fantastic comprehension), and I can assure you I won’t trip, bump into somebody else or cross a red light even once. I may be able to do this as well in Perth, but I won’t want to because I care about what’s out there. New things to see and listen to.

- Personal challenge:

I’m a challenge-junkie. The good thing is that I aim high. The bad thing is that I get bored easily. This is why I always say that you don’t need have to settle. But you should know when and how to do it.

On a related note, this is why I’m starting to embrace the entrepreneur in me: the challenge usually lasts much longer.

- Early corporate pinnacle:

I was working as the youngest employee in the highest profile sector of one of Argentina’s top 5 companies. I got that job by the time I was 21, and I was working with people no less than 10 years older than me. With everyone promising me a bright corporate future and comfort, I realized that I could just turn on the autopilot and my work life would be pretty much solved, since the work experience in that company would open up doors for me in any other company, and I could always stay at that job and keep climbing the ladder.

Depending on who you are, this may be the best or worst discovery that you can have at a young age. For me, it was the latter.

- Education in Argentina:

I studied for 4 years in Argentina, the first 2 in the best public school (politic science), and the other 2 in the best private school of marketing. The first time I didn’t like the degree, but both times I had too much criticism towards the system. In Perth I’ll either try a new system, or realize that the education worldwide shares the same flaws. Whatever the case, it’s worth checking out.

- False notion of requirement of traditional education in modern fields of study. I got the dream job without having a university degree. In other words, I got the job that my degree was supposed to take me to. It’s hard not to question the value of mainstream education after that.

Important clarification: Traditional degrees will always be necessary. You need to study medicine if you want to be a doctor. But modern degrees have become nothing but inflated products of these companies known as schools. After all, Steve Jobs and Richard Branson didn’t study marketing…

- Less known mediocrity:

Mediocrity is everywhere, but new mediocrity will still be fascinating. Always choose the less known mediocrity.

- Network and language improvement:

I want to perfection my English and expand my network. Moving to a new country is the best way to do this, and fast.

- Currency and cost:

Australia is one of the cheapest English speaking countries with top class education.

- Australia’s economical situation:

Thanks to their mining industry and the growth of Perth in particular, Australia has been one of the countries that better handled the crisis. I’m planning to graduate here, and have a valuable and big network by the time Australia is back on the top of the expansion wave, hopefully in 2 or 3 years.

- My bet on Perth:

The previous point applies particularly to Perth. Perth is ridiculously rich on minerals, and it has been focusing intensively on that industry in the last years. If you also consider its geographical location (nearest Australian city to India and China), you understand why it has been growing over 40% a year. It has played a major role in the expansion of those two countries of the BRIC, and I’m hoping to be here when the pessimism is over.

- Big dip, big payoff:

Perth is the most isolated city in the world. It took me 32 hours in total to get here from Buenos Aires. Few people would choose it as a destination, especially from South America. And that’s why I came here. The bigger the risk, the bigger the possible payoff.

- Weird background:

I already have a pretty unusual background of experience, hobbies and networks for my age and nationality (I haven’t met one Argentinian since I got here). Add Perth to the mix (with all that it implies), and I’ll be unique. I don’t know if for the good or bad, but unique for sure. I hear that being remarkable is kind of a big deal.

- Education as a way in:

To accomplish what I want, I need to spend a long time here. Coming here to study was the best way to do it because of all the visa limitations that countries like Argentina have. In all honesty, my decision to study here is just a mean to achieve my other goals. The academic education is a distant second. Or fourteenth.

- A girl:

Some time ago, one girl made me want to become the best possible version of myself. She started this snowball.

This priceless collectible will permit you to be surrounded by hobby-less assholes whose entire life is dictated by billing by the hour and being anal dickheads. Additionally, this piece of paper has the amazing ability to keep you from doing what you really want to do in life, all in the name of purported prestige and financial success. Finally, girls in the Marina will swoon with retarded thoughts of sugar daddy when they hear you went to XXX prestigious law school and are a lawyer.

It’s a tragedy when remarkable people realize they are remarkable too late.

This case proves the sad reality that has struck me recently:

Context trumps individuality.

The reason an out-of-the-box thinker and ambitious person may follow a traditional and less fulfilling path is because either a) the societal pressure is too strong to avoid, or b) the context lacks the tools, means and support to exploit that capacity.

The reason I relate to this lawyer, is that we both realized too late that with a different context and more support for our ambitions, we would have gotten further. I will always wonder where I would be if I would have been born in the US, or at least, in another first world country that had similar intellectual opportunities.

For example, when I think of Colin Wright or Ben Casnocha, friends that have achieved much more than I did so far, I feel that I lost the race. Not the race with them (although I am competitive), but the race with myself had I had their context.

The obvious response is that things couldn’t have happened in any other way and that I wouldn’t have realized this if I hadn’t been through what I did. While true, the possibilities that escaped me since day one (and still do) are too many to be ignored in a flat world.

Another harsh realization of late awareness is the need to lower my expectations. While others were taking advantage of the entrepreneurial culture and taking unconventional paths, I spent most of my life realizing that there was such a thing as an entrepreneurial culture and an unconventional path.

While others were doing, I was catching up. I’m way behind on the path that society considers successful.

And there are real barriers, such as language, visa requirements and currency exchange, to name a few. While not impossible to overcome, they are permanent weights that slow down anyone that has to deal with them.

The hardest truth is this: The world doesn’t give a crap about what I’ve done so far. The world wants start-ups, Fortune 500 corporate experience and world traveling knowledge. It doesn’t care about self-realizations and unconventional personal philosophies, however hard it was to reach them.

This is not a regret. It’s coming to terms with reality. It’s what every ambitious person who lacks a supportive context has to understand:

My definition of success has to be unique and personal, because it will never match the world’s.

If you are living your life looking for happiness, you’ll feel disappointed with the results, and here’s why:

1) There are more tangible things to look for (often not discussed in those happiness books and speeches): laughter, material possessions, sex, intellectual growth, free time, and more. These are much better symbols of happiness, joy and accomplishment than happiness itself. When we experience them, happiness becomes graspable. Those are the popular happy moments.

2) It’s hard to feel it as a whole. What usually happens is that we evaluate our life and calculate an approximate level of happiness depending on our current situation on many variables, like our jobs, relationships, achievements, and more. We define happiness as being “happy enough so far” instead of seeking sensations that are easy to describe and transmit.

3) Happiness is as imprecise and appealing as the idea of “heaven.” I’m sure that there’s some historical connection between the concept of happiness and a heavenly after-life. On a side note: writers and speakers who make money selling the promise of happiness are the priests of the XXI century.

4) If you lived most of your life happy, but you were miserable the last year, then you died miserable. Having an impact on the world and leading an exemplary, ethical life without regrets is more important than being happy, because it cannot be taken away by time and its randomness.

Here’s Betsey Stevenson on the difference between happiness and fulfillment (h/t Stephen Dodson):

There is probably more to life than even life satisfaction. I know that sounds almost oxymoronic, but perhaps we’re missing a sense of greater purpose or fulfillment.

The example I give to demonstrate the limits of happiness data is that people with children are less happy than equivalent people without children. The only explanation that I can think of is that parents are more stressed and harried so when they’re asked about happiness or life satisfaction, they’re not quite as joyous or satisfied as people without kids. But it’s hard for me to imagine that they’re all making a mistake by having children.

To sum it up, there are bigger things in life.

Ben once asked me:

If you could be plugged to a machine that made you feel happy all the time… would you do it?

After thinking hard about it, I realized that I would not.

For me, and I suspect for more people as well, a happy life is an uncomfortable life. In other words, predictability and lack of hardships means an unfulfilled and unhappy life (although this may change in the future since my life philosophy involves the benefits of a healthy body and mind). By overcoming discomfort, I grow as a person and find meaning to life.

Bottom Line: Increasing my wisdom and passing it on to future generations is a more important goal for me than happiness. Each person may have different life objectives and value hierarchies, but I’m confident than most people don’t have happiness at the top, even if they say they do when they are hurried for an answer.

You can subscribe to Ophelias’ Webb here.

Elisa, one of the nicest girls I’ve met online, reached out to me to write a post about love for her blogging series “All you need is love.” I don’t usually write about this kind of stuff, but it was a good moment to show my cynicism regarding the topic. Thank you Elisa, I had a blast doing it!

Do read my guest post “Love Is Irrelevant.”

He compiled 30 young and promising bloggers’ definition of success and their way to achieve it, and created a very inspiring and quick to read ebook that will make you work hard to reach your success, whatever it means to you.

Download the free ebook here.

Here are my expanded responses:

What is success?

Success is living in your own terms, without regrets and regardless of societal achievements.

You can’t win such an ambiguous game without coming up with your own set of rules. Those rules will be your guide if you take the time and put the work to be serious about them.

Regrets of what you did and went wrong are life lessons. Regrets of what you didn’t do are poisonous nostalgia. When in doubt, always say yes. To keep moving, to keep acting, to keep risking is the only way to create an unbreakable and successful mindset.

Society will try to impose your goals. In most people’s case, it succeeds. You should ignore it consciously. Tell to yourself and others that your life belongs to you and not to history and its customs.

How do you achieve it?

You get there after questioning and realizing what matters to you, and by taking the required steps to make it real.

People’s values are either found by themselves, or supplied by the world. Avoid the latter. Take your time to question everything and create your own collage of relevancy. And believe me, it takes time. That’s why most people only have society’s printed copy.

Thinking hard is only half of the solution. Working hard comes next. Like Dr. Kelso once said: “Nothing in this world that’s worth having comes easy.” Now go out there and start doing the work.

Note: I have talked before about the timeless power of marketing, and how the world is not the best version of itself and never will be as long as connections and people skills are the ones who decide who reaches the top, instead of capability, talent and dedication. You can read my post on the topic here.

I encourage you to read Colin’s full post, but for now I want to quote this paragraph:

I would hazard to say that the great dearth of capable people in positions of power is one of the most unnecessary and harmful realities of the modern world. A fortunate few are able to leverage their abilities into notoriety and really reach their full potential, but most will never be able to do so, instead scrounging for food to stay alive while working on a cure for cancer or writing the next great philosophical treatise.

So my challenge to you is simple: this year, do everything you can to help other people succeed. Push those you know with talent and provide what assistance you can. Continue to work on your own endeavors, of course, but really make an extra effort to give others a leg up as well.

What interests me about Colin’s proposition, is that this seems to be happening more and more lately. We are collaborating in a different way.

The Change

Until now, collaboration has been focused on transactions. A win-win situation. Both give to get something in return.

The problem with that mentality is that it’s limited. There’s so much I can give to many, and there’s so much many can give to me. So, when one of the two can’t win, collaboration doesn’t happen. We have been prioritizing the gain, instead of the bond.

This is finally changing.

The future of collaboration is ego-less. In a world where people are becoming more economic and conscious of their resources (time, energy, money), there’s so much we can ask of them, regardless of what we give in return. A fair trade is not necessarily a needed trade. The only real way to create meaningful bonds and projects is to do it without expecting anything in return.

The real test comes when you have the opportunity to help someone with the previous knowledge that that person won’t be able to reciprocate. Paradoxically, the only way to do this consistently is to forget about the economic way of thinking. If you only act evaluating the reward and resources spent, you won’t contribute to this change.

The Meaning

There are many signs of society’s desire to make a change of mindset. For example, the reason we call it networking now instead of “doing business” is because there’s something shady about doing business. With business comes money, interests, conflict. With networking, we are highlighting the people instead of their profit potential. When you do business, you focus on what you can gain. When you network, you focus on how you can help (there’s still a huge expectancy of reward, but thankfully I’m seeing more and more events where “having fun” and “making friends” are the main values, with “doing business” taking a second place).

The future of collaboration is not longer about equality of status, rather than equality of consideration. You help anyone just because you can, not because they are a big deal or because you want to be on their radar. It’s not longer a matter of team, it’s a matter of them.

Just to clarify, this isn’t charity either. Charity happens either because of compassion, guilt, or a belief in a bigger goal. The future of collaboration is not nearly as rational as charity. You don’t do “because.” You just do. The emotional reward (and pain) of charity is immense. The reward of collaboration 3.0 may come eventually, but you have no logical reason to expect it.

And let’s not forget about technology and globalization. Where will we stop once this mentality and attitude spreads, once people leave their win part of the equation behind, once the whole world wants AND is able to help others?

Forget about the win-win and profit seek in a globalized and technological world of collaboration 2.0.

Collaboration 3.0 is a give-win situation, a beautiful “step back.”

PS: I know I sound like a crazy person. But the napkin had to be shared.

How will some of us be the world changers that we dream of being, if we are going to silently accept everything everyone does?

It’s one thing to let everyone enjoy their time here the way they want to, but it’s a whole different story to let everyone dictate the rules the way they want to. The fact that you enjoy surfing or hiking does not affect the world. The fact that you are a democrat or republican does.

How long would you shut up and let others tell you what you should do? After all, Hitler was trying to do his own thing convinced that it was the best path for the world.

Look, if you think something’s wrong, you try to fix it. Why should other people’s actions and opinions be any different?

Yes, conflict will arise. The moment we start avoiding it, we become average. No significant event throughout history would have occurred if it weren’t for conflict. Caesar, Alexander, Gandhi, Obama. They didn’t let others call the shots. They did it themselves. To have any sort of impact during your time here, you have to be confident enough to “destroy” other people’s visions of what should be done.

Every time the world has had a problem, we have had conflict. Not with the problem, but between ourselves. It has always been a matter of one vision trumping the rest. Conflict is what brings a solution.

The problem is that nowadays we all want to “get along.” That sounds beautiful, but it’s impossible. Democracy is expanding throughout the world, so it’s only logical to have MORE conflict now that individuals have been empowered, not less. This democratic way of solving conflict has caused a very harmful effect: ignorance now has a voice.

Ignorance now can decide.

This is why marketing is so important, and also why our world is not the best possible version of itself (and never will be). Because for your solution to prevail you have to communicate it better than anyone else, not have the best one.

In the end, I need to trust my vision, and you should trust yours. We need to clash, someone should triumph and the other one should keep his own thing to himself. Otherwise the most mediocre and damaging ideas will also become real. I won’t let that happen.

People, if we can’t accept this, if we are going to keep trying to avoid conflict and get along, then we have become too weak to see any real change happen.

It’s not the time to be soft, it’s time for civilized conflict.

Fight for any idea that you believe in, even if that hurts someone else’s, and let the best one win.