Enjoy!

Bonding by Being Tied

The Story

I’m not going to name names, but there is a woman in Buenos Aires on a certain social network that is famous for trying to get all foreign visitors to go out to dinner with her.

This in itself is not a gripping story.

There’s no violence or sex.

There is, however, the potential for a very potent shared experience, something that is incredibly important if you want to be a skilled networker. A common story, a jumping off point in a new relationship; this is vital if you want to skip a few miles on the path to friendship.

This woman who I’m not naming has been the common thread in stories woven by a full dozen people that I’ve met since moving to Argentina, each with their own twist to add to the story.

The Telling

For my part, I knew that she emailed me 6 times, each message bearing some variation of “We go out for dinner and dancing on Friday. 10pm. Call me for details.”

Someone I had just met jumped into the conversation with her tidbit: “Oh my god, she did the same with me, and responded to any email back with the same message, but all in caps!”

Another girl, at a breakfast meeting the next morning, shared her experience. “I ended up going out and she and her friend barely spoke the entire meal. They just sat there and kind of looked depressed.”

A guy I met up with later in the day rounded out the picture: “It was really weird…like they were just scoping me and my buddy out to see if we were marriage potentials. The main chick was on a serious quest. When she apparently decided we weren’t the right fit, she started asking if we knew anyone who was the type of person she was looking for.”

“Oh I know,” said a girl I had just met at a coffeeshop who knew a friend of a friend. “She was hitting on my boyfriend until she realized we were together, and then immediately started quizzing us both, for names of potential husbands and their income levels. It was really flagrant.”

“But then we figured out her real purpose,” said a guy I’d spoken with a few times but was only meeting in person for the first time. “The restaurant she takes you to, and the dance club you go to afterward, both overcharge you to an insane degree. They take ‘gringo pricing’ to a new level. I’m sure she’s getting a kickback.”

And there it was. The full story was told, each puzzle piece falling into place from a different person’s individual experience.

The Lesson

The important thing to note here is not the social detective work, figuring out the restaurant woman’s intentions and methods for extracting money and potential mates from wealthy visitors to Buenos Aires.

What really matters is that a bond was formed with each and every person I spoke to about the topic. We had a shared experience, and though it wasn’t a war or being stuck in an elevator or anything intense like that, we still had a foundation pre-poured and ready for walking.

That step, which can be the most difficult to take, had been taken for us and was rock solid. This was another person who spoke to so-and-so and was also confused by the dinner/marriage lady! We’re basically family! Have a drink on me!

Now think about how this method can be easily applied to people outside of your geographic circle.

I’ve found, for example, that a shared experience online can be just as impactful as a real-world one.

The first time I met up with Carlos we already had so much in common I felt like we had been friends for a long time. We knew the same people, had similar reading lists, had similar ambitions and heroes; there wasn’t really a ‘getting to know you’ process – we already knew each other, we just hadn’t met yet.

The International Embrace

Embrace shared experiences where you can, and make use of the different avenues of communication that are available.

We live in an amazing period of time where it’s possible to hang out with the same clique, follow similar trends and be a part of the same storyline as people from the other side of the globe.

The people who helped me flesh out the story above were all from different countries, each tied together by the very fine thread of a social network, each willing to follow that thread to one another.

Make a personal resolution to follow more threads.

The more shared experiences we have and bonds we create, the more empathy we’ll have for our brothers and sisters everywhere. Find the right story and it becomes clear that we are ALL tied together and the artificial boundaries we throw up are just illusions.

You can subscribe to Buzz Marketing Daily here, and follow Carrie on Twitter here.

Thank you Carrie for letting me write for your very popular blog, it was a thrill and a pleasure.

Do read my guest post “The Simplest Social Media Rule” here.

Subscribe to Jun Loayza’s blog here. Follow Jun on Twitter here.

Jun is a very good friend, a wonderful person, and one of the most passionate hard workers I have ever met.

Thank you bro for letting me write for your blog.

Do read my guest post “Down With Entreprneurship’s Glamour” here.

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Do read my guest post “Watch Out With Labels.”

Side note: Elysa is organizing a panel for SXSW 2010. Check it out and vote for it if you like it.

Thanks Elysa for letting me guest post, I truly appreciate it.

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Let me get personal and share with you my excitement:

Holly was the first person I reached out a year ago in the online world. She was helpful and most of all, she cared. The idea of starting an english blog? Yeah, hers.

I enjoy his sincere writing and admire her as a person. I truly suggest you to connect with her.

Do read my guest post “Recipe For Conformity”

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This is an honor since I have nothing but respect for Monica.

Do read my guest post “Do you Build or do you Bet? The Truth About Networking.”

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This is a guest spark by Benjamin Wilcox. Visit his blog here. Follow him on Twitter here.

In this community where everyone is constantly striving for improvement, you may feel that you’re saying nothing new.

The thing is that even if that’s true, you’re still rare.

You’re contributing to the world.

It is easy to forget how many people are not trying and cursing their circumstances.

Instead, you have taken control of your life and are gaining insights that aren’t available in your neighborhood.

Keep it up. Tomorrow’s rockstars are the ones doing the hard work today.

She’s doing a series called “The Appreciation Revolution”.

You can read Jenny Blake’s guest post here.

And Matt Chevrount’s guest post here.

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PS: Jenny is one of the best things that happened to Social Media. Period.