Education

Our view of education is outdated to justify failure. I would agree that a poor education on the home and a mediocre culture might be real reasons behind failure, but not education academically speaking (frequently the most mentioned). Lack of traditional credentials nowadays means nothing since it’s by critical and outside-of-the-box thinking that exceptional people do exceptional things. Educational institutions perpetuate a mentality and a dependence that are not suitable for today’s success. In fact, I’d say that most people who consciously skip higher education, and can present rational and valuable reasons to do it, are more suited to reach their goals than those that do it because it’s “the next step.”

Laziness

Laziness exists, without a doubt. The problem is that it’s very hard for lazy people to change it because they look for it in the wrong place. Contrary to the popular opinion, I don’t believe laziness is a part of someone’s personality, but an effect context has over our mind. Work near your bed, and you’ll get less done than if you go to a library or an isolated table on a coffee shop. Most people can stop being lazy but they don’t know how and are too lazy to find out.

Laziness is a reason behind failure, but it’s one of the easiest ones to overcome.

One more thought on laziness: it’s human and in some cases desirable. Here’s Magnus Carlsen, 19 year old and the best chess player in the world:

Organisation is not my thing; I am chaotic and tend to be lazy. My trainer recognised that and as a rule allowed me to practise whatever I felt like at the time. It’s like this: When I am feeling good, I train a lot. When I feel bad, I don’t bother. I don’t enjoy working to a timetable.

Economy

We could think of economy as rules of a market, in which case I believe it can be an obstacle too big to overcome. Economy is just too powerful for one individual to beat.

We can also define it as the ups and downs of a market, in which case it ends up working better as a justification for laziness or conformity than a real problem.

Capacity

One of the most controversial, since the world is fixated on telling everyone that they are awesome, but the good thing about it is that lack of capacity only prevents success in very few areas.

If you want to be a soccer player, there’s no way around it: you have to be really good. But in most cases, like in the corporate world, quoting lack of capacity as a reason for failure is all about political correctness. We all know examples of people who got promoted because they were friends with the boss, or because they worked there for many years.

We could mention blogging as well. Does popularity mean value? Quite the contrary.

It’s important to remind yourself that you may fail for being too good. This is the best reason to fail.

Society

Another contextual reason, and a truly tough one to overcome. Discrimination, for example. How many women or black people have failed because “it wasn’t their time”? It’s true that this is changing more and more as time passes, but it still exists.

My only advice for those that are suffering it is to fight. There has never been better chances of winning against societal disadvantages than now, but it would be ignorant of me not to mention it as a reason for failure.

Luck

Ah, my personal favorite. Almost of all of the previously mentioned reasons can be grouped into luck. Some time ago Duff McDuffee tweeted a series of thoughts about luck and success, which I found refreshing to read in the middle of this Disney world of over-positivity and demagogic messages of ambition:

The secret to success is luck. Sure success requires hard work, good strategies, etc., but the missing ingredient is usually luck. So if you’re not successful after doing everything right, consider that maybe you’re just unlucky. Similarly, if you are successful and someone asks you your secret, you should say “I was lucky.” Most everything else is confirmation bias.

Another time-tested success secret is to compete unfairly by pretending to be a peer with those below your weight class, Tim Ferris style. Since your success amongst your peers is largely dependent on luck, we often stack the odds in our favor by competing against non-peers. All competitive advantages are an attempt to trick your competitors, and only work as long as nobody else knows the trick. We define certain competitive advantages as fair and others as unfair, but somewhat arbitrarily, for any real advantage is unfair. We often distinguish between games of chance and games of skill, but luck frames which skills we can develop and to what extent.

Not only I agree, I also believe that quoting hard work as the reason for success is insulting and a close-minded judgment. If all you can do is kick a rock, it doesn’t matter how hard you kick it, you won’t get anywhere in the our competitive jungle.

One of the most important oversights of our society is the reality that we are not all REALLY peers. The peer status comes from the conditions, and not everyone has the same conditions.

PS: If you still have enough bubbles and butterflies in your head to believe in meritocracy, you can watch Alain De Botton’s talk on TED for a deeper understanding of why meritocracy is a beautiful but impossible concept.

Being realistic is the fastest way to mediocrity.

Sorry Will, but I disagree.

Realism has bad press, but it’s the best mindset to get things done.

We love to repeat over and over about how you need to stick to your dreams, about how you can accomplish anything you can imagine, and more cliche advice. This is what I call the “Disney Mentality” of our society. We don’t believe in what makes sense, we believe in what sounds good. And what sounds better than dreams? The best things happen there…

Not surprisingly, we usually don’t listen about all those dreams that never became truth, about all those “passionate” people that just failed.

There’s no merit in failing while pursuing something impossible. However, we are sticking to it.

Anything in the name of romance.

Anything in the name of this supposed heroism chasing impossibility brings.

There’s nothing easier, more mediocre and common than dreaming. Everyone has dreams. For example, it’s because of dreams that gambling works so well.

The reason we love to dream is because it gives people the feeling of acting. By keeping their dreams alive, they hold on to the idea of making them real eventually, without putting the required effort to make it happen. I may write, dream and talk about love and how I haven’t “found it” yet, but you know what might actually help? Shaving and going to the gym.

Not that romantic.

True realism does not let you dream. It needs you to act. There’s no justification for doing nothing if you are realistic, because you know that wishing and hoping gets you nowhere. True realism means seeing the world as it is, taking the good with the bad, and then doing something that can be done. It means changing what can be changed. Don’t confuse this with false realism (the most common kind), which consists on rationalizing one’s laziness.

Semantics indeed

Now, some might say that I’m sending the same message with different words.

And that’s exactly the problem.

It’s the choice of words what’s harming us.

The words and mentality that we use affect our actions. Someone who “works hard” will accomplish more than someone who “follows his passion.” The thing is, passion and dreams are much more appealing (and meaningless) concepts than hard work. This is why all these self-help books disguised as business advice are doing wonders: They are a manipulative fad that make people believe they are moving forward.

It’s by making everyone feel good about their lack of focus and concrete actions that Smith’s empty sentence sounds wise.

Bottom Line: Realism is a powerful and liberating mindset. With it, you’ll aim high and your shot will land somewhere.

1. Make friends.
2. Promote them so they will promote you.
3. Screw them over/ ignore them/ use them/drop them while becoming friends with their friends.
4. Repeat as needed.

In no time, you’ll be praised for your community building skills thanks to those drone followers that are too blind to see the obvious manipulation, too needy to question your quality, and too afraid to quit your empty cheerleading message.

Isn’t social media great?!

He compiled 30 young and promising bloggers’ definition of success and their way to achieve it, and created a very inspiring and quick to read ebook that will make you work hard to reach your success, whatever it means to you.

Download the free ebook here.

Here are my expanded responses:

What is success?

Success is living in your own terms, without regrets and regardless of societal achievements.

You can’t win such an ambiguous game without coming up with your own set of rules. Those rules will be your guide if you take the time and put the work to be serious about them.

Regrets of what you did and went wrong are life lessons. Regrets of what you didn’t do are poisonous nostalgia. When in doubt, always say yes. To keep moving, to keep acting, to keep risking is the only way to create an unbreakable and successful mindset.

Society will try to impose your goals. In most people’s case, it succeeds. You should ignore it consciously. Tell to yourself and others that your life belongs to you and not to history and its customs.

How do you achieve it?

You get there after questioning and realizing what matters to you, and by taking the required steps to make it real.

People’s values are either found by themselves, or supplied by the world. Avoid the latter. Take your time to question everything and create your own collage of relevancy. And believe me, it takes time. That’s why most people only have society’s printed copy.

Thinking hard is only half of the solution. Working hard comes next. Like Dr. Kelso once said: “Nothing in this world that’s worth having comes easy.” Now go out there and start doing the work.

You can talk about the things you’re going to do, and then do them.

Or you can just do them.

Sadly, people seem to value more the former way of action.

The one that makes a big fuss about it.

The one that needs selfish justification.

The one that’s fake.

The problem is we encourage this type of behavior. We recognize the “talk-and-doers” more than the “just-doers.”

The moment we stop glorifying those that go “look at my good work!” and start recognizing just good work, the world will be a better place.

No wonder the best ones stay hidden. They choose anonymity over prostitution.

Our culture is seeing an explosion of social studies in the work environment, mainly focused on our irrationality and incapability to see the best logical response. We have been victims of our mind’s flaws since the beginning of time, but we are now fascinated to point out to everyone just how “crazy” we are.

Studies prove that tall people get further in the corporate ladder, women earn less, black people get interviewed for worse jobs, and many other harsh realities. I say realities, because they are true. They happen.

And they are completely irrelevant.

Just because they happen, does not mean they have to happen to you.

We are not getting smarter or hacking the system by knowing about these studies, we are just finding more ways to rationalize our fears and failures. Failing and blaming it on our physique is the ultimate excuse.

I remember when Ben and I were talking about IQ tests. I had just taken one, and after seeing my results (which I’m keeping to myself), I asked his opinion about IQ tests in general. This is what he told me (sort of, it was a long time ago):

“They are pointless. If you are dumb, you’ll only feel bad about yourself. And if you’re smart, what is it going to do for you to know that? It may even be get you to be complacent. We should ignore those things about us that we can’t change, and just work hard and believe in ourselves.”

Same goes for all these studies. Why does it help you to know these facts? The only positive effect that I could see is to motivate those that are on the losing side (and I’m skeptical about that). Feeling good about being a tall white man can’t help your attitude in any way.

There’s a bigger problem with these trends: they are statistics. Majorities. Generalizations. I’m between 5′7″ and 5′8″. Clearly not tall enough to succeed, maybe I should just kill myself. But until I hear of a study that says that 100% of a specific group of people suffers a certain negative effect, I won’t care about them. I just assume I am the exception.

Just believe you are that short, fat, ugly and lucky bastard that will power through.

Really, is there any other way?

Pharmaceutical companies are improving the quality of our daily lives life.

Breakthroughs in medicine are letting us survive more accidents and diseases than ever.

Never before we have taken care of our health and fitness, worrying about what we eat, how we sleep and the exercise we do as much as now.

The result of all of this is that we are living longer.

We have more time.

On the other hand…

Corporations are looking for the young gems, trying to find the next genius twenty-something.

Kids finishing highschool and college are starting their own companies as soon as possible, so they can fund the next Facebook.

Education is hurrying us up to have as many degrees as fast as we can in order to be able to compete at the top (whatever that means).

The result of all of this is that we have to run to keep up.

We have less time.

Do you see the contradiction?

We are acting as if life were a race, constantly competing against each other, holding other people’s success as standardized goals. We are worrying about speed instead of direction. Our addiction to productivity and accomplishment is taking away the joy of today’s quality of life.

This would be fine if people were happier, if today’s youth were cheerful about their situation. But that’s not what’s happening, the burden is too heavy for many of them.

This is what happens when you’re constantly moving, constantly comparing, constantly winning: few get ahead, many quit, and many more just get frustrated.

I do believe that we have to invest and work hard when we are young, but we also have to understand that we have a lot of time ahead of us.

Don’t believe what they tell you, there is no rush.

It’s ok to unplug, it’s ok to relax.

It’s ok to slow down when you no longer see what’s happening out the window.

After all, the whole point of living longer is to live better.

…is the acknowledgment of the context. It’s accepting the limits of our individuality.

…is the end of pretty lies, it’s realism at its finest.

…does not mean not fighting. It means taking your fight where you can win it.

…is not for those full of pride or fear. Those who do it are humble and secure.

…means trusting in your own definition of success, and going towards it.

…stops where persistence can produce results.

…is a learning prerequisite. Growth loves the new and hates the routine.

…is the constant choice for the less known mediocrity.

Running away is, in the end, just a bad choice of words.

Sparked by Matt

Subscribe to Jun Loayza’s blog here. Follow Jun on Twitter here.

Jun is a very good friend, a wonderful person, and one of the most passionate hard workers I have ever met.

Thank you bro for letting me write for your blog.

Do read my guest post “Down With Entreprneurship’s Glamour” here.

If a lawyer wins a case, he succeeds. It works.

But non-profits don’t function the same way. Their definition of success is different. Many successful non-profits are still fighting poverty, diseases, and many other issues. Maybe they always will.

That’s why they don’t share the glamour other industries have.

Just because a single person or organization can’t achieve complete eradication of the problems they focus on, does that mean that they have failed? Of course not, but society won’t reward them the same way they’ll reward “successful” people.

People who want to change the world don’t care about glamour.

They don’t care if it “doesn’t make sense.”

They don’t care if they “fail.”

It’s not just about results.

It’s about peace of mind.

They can sleep well knowing that it doesn’t have to work.

It has to matter.