I want to be one of those change-lovers that you talk about. I want to embrace it and learn from it, to look forward to the thrills and spontaneity of life. But I too often hold back out of a fear that I can never quite articulate — a fear of letting go because letting go might mean loss. And I hold on to what I have because I’m never quite willing for the ending of that something comforting, something good. I think–I know–that I’m a bit afraid of that, too.

Deep down in my heart I know that if you don’t give it a try, if you don’t let go and risk loss and heartache, then you never know what good might have been waiting right around the corner. Which is why I try to push through that fear and experience those changes anyway. It’s why I went away to college, though my anxiety attacks held me back. It’s why I went to France on my own, though I was afraid of leaving my place of comfort. You never know what you’re capable of until you take that risk. I’ll kick and scream and fight and curse every step of the way, but then, without fail, I’ll look back and say, “wow. It really wasn’t so bad.” Because change can be good. It’s that uncertainty part that sucks.

Thanks again for posting this Carlos. I know you speak a lot about change and I love that — love how you force me to recognize my own aversion to it and, consequently, to grow because of that. Great and timely post.