Do you act according to your feelings or your thoughts?
While your feelings may be strong, they change way too much. Take a nap when you’re upset and you’ll see what I mean.
Listening to your heart too often may lead to bad decisions in the moment. On the other hand, this leads to a life with less regrets.
While your thoughts may be right, they are weak and, as opposed to humans’ behaviour, too rational. Try to think your way through a break-up and you’ll see what I mean.
Listening to your mind too often may prevent you from doing what you want. On the other hand, this leads to a life with less problems.
There is no discussion when these two match. But you should figure out quickly which one you’ll listen to from now on when they don’t.
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
Ah, this is an intriguing discussion Carlos. For me it genuinely depends on the situation, what’s at stake and a vast number of other variables. There are times when I trust the emotions and run with it, and others when I use logic to carefully sift through countless options, choosing the one that makes the “most sense.” I’m a very passionate person (for whatever reason particularly when I’m working late at night. For this reason, I often will write memos and manifestos well into the morning, but then wake up in the morning, and be like, crap I can’t send that. I’ll be stepping all over someone’s toes. I think sometimes it’s a very delicate balance.
You’re right on so many points here Ryan. It’s a balance, a delicate one, and also a huge 2it depends”. I think that what I wanted to communicate was to understand that sometimes your feelings are feelings, tey come and go, and not all of them call for action. On the other hand, if you always live by your rational thoughts, you won’t be happy ever, since happiness is anything but rational.
I tend to listen to my stomach. Where does that fit in?
Haha…I agree.
Feelings!
Very good question, and a difficult one to answer. I agree with Ryan, it depends on the situation. There are certain times when it’s best to listen to our mind, and others when we really should listen to our heart. I think part of growing up is learning the difference. Sure, we’ll probably be wrong sometimes, but we’ll be better people for it. Insightful as always, Carlos!
Like Ryan, you’re right, it does depend on the person and the situation. But I don’t think it’s wrong to make a habit of which one you’ll listen to more often. I’ve found very liberating to realize that sometimes I just have ignore my feelings and continue down the rational road, or on the contrary, listen to my heart and do whatever I want (on the weekends mostly).
I listen to my heart and my emotions way too much. My heart is out there on my sleeve for everyone to see. I try to be more “business” like and more “profession” and not react, but then I am changing who I am and should I change who I am to “fit in”? Is this taking the issue of “fitting in” that we go through in high school to a whole new level? Hmmm…something to ponder.
Great post, Carlos. Thank you for making us think.
No, thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts (or feelings?) Kristina. When it comes to work and business, my personal advice is to be as rational as possible. go with your passion, but understand that your mind will always find something to bitch about.
This conversation goes in circles sometimes. However, I firmly believe that when your heart and mind are in accord then life is much more smooth and your actions are balanced. I always say, when it comes to matters of the heart why would you let your mind make 100% of the decision? Each add an important piece to the mix, but I’ve seen people that are too involved with their mind and thoughts…and others who only listen to their heart and sometimes aren’t very practical. Hence, the need to integrate both. Weave your heart and mind decisions into your life, they’re there for a reason. That’s my two cents, but I love that you’ve brought this topic up. Awesome, Carlos!
Thanks for your “two cents” Grace, and like I say in the post, I completely agree. No problem when both match. But we have to train ourselves for when they don’t. We have to learn how to be ready to ignore our feelings or thoughts BEFORE they hit us. Understanding that we’ll feel or think differently later is a big step towards tranquility of spirit.
I agree with Grace for the most part.
I try to listen to my intuition, I guess is the best way to put it. I think we all have a connection to the part of us that KNOWS what the right choice or action is, but both thoughts and emotions tend to play “telephone” with its message. When we can clear our thoughts and feelings and connect directly to that knowing, we make the best choices.
In a way this is a balance of thought and feeling, and in another its making choices without the influences of either.
Great reply, and thanks for your time Nicole! Making choices without the influences of either, easier said than done, right? But I agree with that Nicole. I think achieving that objective decision making is extremely hard, but worth it. It’s liberating to make the right decision even if it goes against your heart or your mind.
Carlos: I find myself agreeing with a lot of the responses here, particularly Grace’s comment. I think it’s important to strike that balance — emotion, for example, creates sympathy and compassion while thought may provide rationalization, creating a necessary boundary so that you don’t become overcome by those emotions. I think striking a balance is important in everything…
And this is definitely something I’m still learning. Personally, I’ve noticed that I hit both extremes pretty hard. I tend to run on emotion, listening closely to my instinct, intuition. But then when I’m making decisions, despite listening to that intuition, I pause and pull back and analyze, analyze, analyze. I think way too much. I’ve toned down these extremes and have begun to find that balance for myself — I let my intuition guide me, with careful thought taking me the rest of the way. But I think finding that balance for oneself is really the key.
I read in an recent article that President Obama bases all of his decisions on intellect — data and information. I admired that, but then realized that I don’t necessarily agree with it. I think there’s something to be said to trusting and listening to yourself, your gut, your intuition — whatever you want to call it — as well.
Awesome post as usual, Carlos!
First of all, thank you Susan for this amazing comment. It’s full of interesting points. I have to say that I agree with you on that Obama thing. I’d like to believe that my leader has that role because he has some iinnate skills, not because he can do what many other smart people can. I need some instinct!
Now, when you talk about extremes I think you’ve touched the key point, on what not to do! I’m glad for you that you’re finding that balance, because being way too one-sided when it comes to how you make your decisions, can (and will) end up in a lot of regrets. Not being true to yourself, and not being logical enough are the risks here.
Wonderful reply Susan, I loved it, thanks for saying something that a lot of us did at some point in their lives.
I had a professor say in college “Anyone who does not think with their hearts when they are young don’t have one. The same can be said once people get older for their brains.” Kinda stuck with me. I feel like we obviously need to be intelligent and logical and strategic in our actions, but at the same time when else are we going to get a chance to be completely brash and passionate and young?!
Would have loved to have that professor! That’s a great saying. Again, the balance idea comes up, I’m glad most people agree on this. But I believe that balance is something you gain in retrospective, is not a state. So, what we have to try to find is some habit, some idea of what to do when we face a decision that has two options.
Why not be logical when we’re young or passionate when we’re old?
I can relate with you on taking naps when you feel upset. That is the best way I refresh my mind from wondering thoughts. I wake up, have a fresh start, and continue my day.
Absolutely, if it were for me I’d sleep 4 or 5 times during the day, fresh starts all over the place. It’s healthy and helps you see things clearly.
I fall victim to my own feelings on so many occasions that it often gets me in trouble. It’s such a simple concept to stay silent, meditate on your thoughts, and then act but one that is so difficult to execute. I learned a while ago that giving yourself time to simply think is so important in achieving some sort of piece yet it also makes you much more effective when you are in a position to make decisions. (not linking here but I’d love to hear your thoughts on my latest post over at rikinontheweb)
I agree Rikin, you have to give yourself some time to organize your feelings and thoughts, otherwise you may make some rushed decisions. I’ll be checking out your post now!