Balance is so popular these days.
We all preach about it, the “perfect” situation. We look for it, focusing on doing more of this or less of that.
Wrong approach.
Balance can only be found in retrospect.
Every time you choose, you lean towards one side. That’s what life is, constant leaning.
You have moments with disproportionate sadness, followed by moments with disproportionate happiness.
That’s what the quest is all about.
You can’t feel balance.
Look backwards. Have you really had such a imbalanced life?
Bottom Line: It’s ok to lean. Follow your now’s, they’ll know how to make it even.
Sparked by Lisis and Ali.
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Thank you, Carlos! I love being one of your “sparks”! Someone once told me I was a firecracker, and now I have the proof.
I totally agree with your take on the balance issue… it’s a constant process of making decisions and corrections to stay basically focused where we are headed. But, you’re right, when we look back upon the road we traveled, we may have had some moments of zigzagging, but we still got to this point, and will continue forward on our path.
You are absolutely correct about about how life is always leaning to one side or the other. When I was reading your post the first word that popped into my mind was “acceptance”. The more we can accept the highs and lows, the better off we will be. Acceptance is what brings balance because we know, even if life is good or bad in this moment, it will pass…always.
Thanks for the great post!
Dayne
Do you think there is something to be said for always being aware (at least) of trying to maintain balance in your life? There’s a growing sense of people being “unaware” and thus “not responsible” for the things that happen within their lives.
Sure there are zig zags and there are most definitely things that hit us from totally outside the box that there’s no way we can prepare for. However our ability to adapt and at least try to center ourselves after the extremes is what keeps us from spinning totally out of control. When you don’t at least TRY to keep some balance, you become very imbalanced. Imbalance will always lead to a topple, and topples are NO fun.
Do you really think the sense nowadays is of unawareness? I feel the exact opposite. The “work-life” balance for example, is a very discussed topic lately.
I agree with you on trying. You’ll always fail. But just by trying, you’ll have balance in retrospect.
Again, every time you try, you lean. And that’s ok. But you’re right, one must do it nonetheless.
I’ve often compared my “life balance” to a pendulum, swinging back and forth. I try to minimize how far it swings in either direction. Extremes can be very dangerous for me. Swinging to the work side is dangerous for my health and sanity. Swinging to the life side is dangerous for my motivation, ambition and drive.
I’m never perfectly stationary in the middle, though. That’s what I think the trick to balance is. Constant equalizing.
Looking at where we’ve been definitely helps us determine where we are now and where we want to be.
But, it sounds like you’re talking about balance in relation to highs and lows. Wouldn’t that be stoicism?
The pendulum is the perfect analogy. Minimize the swings and you’re set.
To be honest, I am pretty stoic. But my point about sadness and happiness was supposed to be just an example (I don’t think it came out well). I think that kind of balance can be applied to work vs. life as well, or to any activities in general for that matter.
Well said Carlos. Everyone is always looking to ’strike a balance’ in life but really I doubt that is fully achieved. As you mentioned, whenever one makes a decision he tends to lean in one direction and hopes for the best and that brings me to the issue of risk taking. We all take more risks in life than we achieve balance.
Hi, Carlos. I’m honored to have sparked a spark! I especially love this wise observation: “Balance can only be found in retrospect. Every time you choose, you lean to one side.”
Along these lines… some women wonder how to balance family with career (I know I do). They treat it like a high-wire act… constant balance must be achieved at all costs. I once read a book called Sequencing (subtitle: Having it all, but not all at once), in which a professional woman discussed the option of focusing on career for a phase of one’s life, then switching to family later on, and maybe back to career later. This idea resonated with me. Balance does not happen in a single moment. It can occur over a lifetime.
This is perfect. I need this. I’m sort of.. FREAKING OUT? And this is perfect.
Greatness is not achieved by balance. World class results require massive sacrifice in other areas of our lives. Balance is for people happy with mediocrity.
I very much agree with Holly and Elisa and have difficulty resonating with you Carlos and with John’s comment. I believe balance is our natural state we are either ‘in balance’ or we aren’t. When we try to force balance into our lives we end up further imbalanced. But that doesn’t preclude us from achieving balance in the present moment.
If we are perfectly in ‘balance’ we are static and not interacting with the world around us. We must strive to be in balance and harmony in relation to our environment and our desires. Its like driving a car- even on a straight road we must make minute adjustments to out steering to counteract wind, bumps in the road etc.
I keep coming back to this. It’s just SO SPOT ON.